I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
