we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Randomize
