there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
