Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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