Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
