So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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