Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Come see our sink grown plant.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
The air was thick with penises
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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