then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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