just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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