just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
