Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I checked into jail on foursquare
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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