So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
