Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
