Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
