hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Randomize
