I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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