Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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