first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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