My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
