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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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