You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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