The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
