i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
