The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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