Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm too high and old for this...
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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