im about as happy as oj after his trial
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
