Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
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i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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