North Korea, Best Korea!
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Randomize
