Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize