the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Randomize
