there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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