i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
