I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
