I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
