my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Then you guys just all showered together...?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize