Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
He felt like a one man threesome
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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