Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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