I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize