He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
the day after is always just damage control
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
