I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
