At least make sure they are 18
Why
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
