I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
