you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
