He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
