hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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