I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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