but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
