sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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