508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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