I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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