Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
