Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
