O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
