Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
