Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
