Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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