How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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