it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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