omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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