but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
