God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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