I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
