Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
