And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
