I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
