how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
