dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Randomize
