Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
